Bittersweet

I don't know what it is - maybe its the barely reaching 60 degree and rainy weather in June - or maybe its the fact that I've actually had a few hours of peace today, as the kids both took great naps simultaneously, to sit back and reflect on all that has happened over the past nine months. I've really been feeling a bit nostalgic today. Partially because Hayden just completed his first year of "toddler" pre-school at St. Paul's Plus and he will be moving on to the older two year old class, deemed "real" pre-school, and also my little baby Kinsley is turning 6 months next week. I'm not sure what is hitting me harder. I remember when we first started at SPP, I was certain that Hayden would only go three days a week from 9-12, and I wasn't even sure we were going to keep him there past October as I was concerned that he was too young. My apprehensions were quickly abated when Kinsley came into the world and I needed a structured, safe, and consistent place for Hayden to go while I took care of a newborn with health challenges. Little did I know I would end up loving my experiences there and develop wonderful friendships with parents and teachers. Now, I can't peel him away from there at 5:00 p.m. because he loves it so much. We had so many great memories over the past nine months; going to the pumpkin patch, holiday parties, a trip to the zoo, a happy hour at our house with 30 kids and their parents. But most importantly, I am going to miss the bond that Hayden developed with his teachers. They became an extension of me. They were there when I had to be with Kinsley in the hospital when she had RSV and I didn't know what to do with Hayden or how long we would be in the hospital with her. They brought Hayden out to my car everyday for two months, in rain, snow, sleet, and cold so that I wouldn't have to bring her in to the school to be exposed to germs when she was already so fragile after going through her illness. I love those women and I love the camaraderie we shared with the teachers and the parents. It will never be the same. Yes, Kins will go into the Toddler program at 18 months, but there is just something that saddens me about Hayden moving on. I guess this is the same way I will feel when he exits St. Paul's and moves on to kindergarden, and from the lower to the upper school, and upper school to college. I don't know why I am having such a hard time processing this, but I feel as though my babies are growing at lightening speed. I just want to take it all in and I am so afraid that I will lose it in my memory as new events fill up the space. Kinsley is the warmest, most cuddly baby and I want to freeze her in time. I can't believe she's 6 months. It is quite a milestone, because at one week, when she turned blue and was diagnosed with acute RSV, I could never have dreamed that we'd get to this point. It hasn't been easy handling two kids this close in age, but I feel as though they are really reaching milestones and it is all happening before my eyes, I just wish I could slow it down a little. I love thinking of all of these memories that we have made and it gives me such a warm feeling, although somewhat bittersweet. I know I will be a mess in 2 years when Hayden has his pre-school graduation ceremony and we are moving on to "big boy school." Right now, I'm just dealing with the realization that my baby is becoming a boy and will very soon be out of diapers. Its amazing that back in September, I would cry as I drove him down Falls Road to the school and couldn't wait to turn around and pick him up in 2 hours and come June, I would wonder if 4:30 was too early to get him. He truly loves it there and I love it too. I'm just sad to see the year end but excited for a new one to begin. Yes, I will be a mess at his wedding....haha.

St. Paul's Pre-School End of Year Video

This was given to the parents today at the end of year picnic. One of Hayden's teachers, Ms. Jenyfer put it together. Hayden is in there, but the scenes change so quickly, it is hard to tell. I still have tears in my eyes watching it and seeing how much the children have grown. St. Paul's has been such a wonderful experience for us and even though we are continuing on, nothing will ever be like our first year experience there with Katka, Andrea and Jenyfer. We love the teachers and the parents and most importantly, the children. This summer, Hayden moves from the Toddler Room into the Upper 2's, so he is officially in pre-school now. My, how the time has flown. Enjoy our journey!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com